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Help Me Hera: I’m a lesbian(?) with a affection on a cis het man

Why I can’t just accept that my sexuality and gender identity are fluid?

Want Hera’s help? Email your difficulty to helpme@

Dear Hera,

I came out (by dating a young woman for the first time) at 13 years antique. I personally only came out as dating a girl, but people around me decided that I was bisexual. About a year later, I talked to a close partner about being attracted to lots of different people, and they suggested I might be pansexual. Another year later, for the first time in my journey as someone with a queer identity, I felt held by naming myself as takatāpui (tēnā koe AI – Ancestral Intelligence).

Throughout my time in university, as the seasons would transition from winter to spring, a cloud would loom over me for weeks at a time, incessantly asking: am I lesbian? Which was distracting and stressful. I wanted to understand myself better, probably wanted other people to understand me better, and thought maybe a label would undertake that. About a year ago I started to identify as a woman loving woman, and started using she/they pronouns. For the first time in this decade-long (thus far) journey, I breathed a sigh of relief,

ISSUE / Express JULY
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Your LGBTQ+ Voice | July | THE SEXIEST PICTURES FROM CHRISTCHURCH PRIDE | THE HOTTEST ELECTRIC VEHICLES LOOK STYLISH WHILE Conserve $$$’s | Ryan O&#;Connell Talks Queer As Folk reboot & Disabled Sex | A BALLET BONANZA CINDERELLA WITH KISSING PRINCES!
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Chemsex is a legal title coined by activist David Stuart describing gay men and men who own sex with men (MSM) having sex under the influence of psychoactive drugs. The Chemsex drugs facilitate sexual activities lasting several hours, sometimes entire days, usually involving multiple sexual partners.
You may reflect of Chemsex parties as a place of total "chill out" and never-ending sexual fun, but the gay men in my consulting room tell me much darker stories. Sadly, they come to me after they had a traumatizing event at one of those parties, and many brushed with death:
"A friend of mine just died in a Chemsex party. He was only I don’t wish this to happen to me."
"I passed out, woke up in a stranger’s bedroom floor, almost choking on my vomit. Nobody noticed."
"I can’t remember whom I had sex with. I’m not even sure if some people had sex with me when I was passed out."
"I’m afraid of going to a sexual health clinic because I don’t need to hear I might have contracted HIV."
"I had to rush to A&E because I bled a lot. I don't understand what I did but I know I damaged the inside of my anus."
The statistics are worrying: Chemsex behavio

THE PANTOGRAPH PUNCH
Rainbow crossings and Pride Parades signal lgbtq+ progress. But Will Hansen argues Aotearoa still has a long way to go for queer folk to feel safe.
When businesses throughout the Wellington CBD are covered head to toe in rainbow flags, why would we complain? When Wellington City Council commissions rainbow crossings, rainbow runways, rainbow precincts, to make us feel welcome and safe, why would we criticise them? When even some of our communities’ most long-standing opponents, the police and defence forces, see fit to march in our Identity festival Parades with rainbow flags decorating their cop cars and LAVs (Light Armoured Vehicles), how could we possibly not be satisfied of our progress?
As an openly trans and lgbtq+ person, I do know why this feels enjoy progress. Who wouldn’t desire to see rainbow flags everywhere? I came out only five years ago, and I can hardly imagine how I would have felt when I was 17 and frightened beyond words, seeing all these shops flying rainbow flags. It would contain made me feel seen. Sometimes it still does, and it makes so many others feel happy.
Our queer ancestors fought so hard for us to feel this happiness. People fought too

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