Gay first time bottom
A Beginner’s Guide to Bottoming During Sex
FOR THOSE WHO bottom, it can be the ultimate act of pleasure. But for some—regardless of if you are new to it, returning to the bottom bunk, or still trying your best to enjoy it—it can feel like an uncomfortable chore.
Just to clear up exactly what we’re walking about here: “bottoming” refers to creature a receptive partner during anal sex. The bottom is the partner that is taking the penis or dildo inside of them, while the person who is the insertive partner is often referred to as a “top” or the person “topping.”
Verbiage aside, bottoming can cause a lot of people anxiety. I intend, it’s obvious why: despite anal sex being completely normal, it’s rarely talked about. And in a world where people are barely even taught about vaginal sex, there’s even less taught to people, regardless of sexuality, about the ins and outs of going in the backdoor.
The anus might get a bad rap, or a reputation that it’s more of an exit than an entrance, but that’s simply not true. Anal sex can be pleasurable, and entity on the receiving finish can be heavenly. (Hey, you can even hold an anal orgasm!)
But, as with all things sex, while it is natura
In a sexual context, bottoming is the act of taking a dick (or a dick-shaped object) in your ass. When it comes to gay and bi men, a lot of people seem caring of obsessed with operational out who’s a top/giver and who’s a bottom/receiver, but in reality many MSM (men who hold sex with men) accomplish both and some complete neither. In 2021, it’s painfully heteronormative to presume that sexual intercourse has to involve a hole being filled by something cock-shaped.
On one level, bottoming is really no huge deal – if you like riding dick, depart ahead and ride it. But on another, butt-fucking is still cloaked in myth and stigma. “There’s an association that those who bottom are feminine and those who superior are masculine,” says Ian Howley, CEO of the health and wellbeing philanthropy LGBT HERO. “And we all know where that stigma comes from: Hello, toxic masculinity.”
Happily, Howley says this reductive presumption is finally dying out as we all become more open-minded. “You now spot lots of ‘masculine’ men who enjoy bottoming, including straight men who finally found out just how much pleasure they can get from their arse,” he says. Some even like to define themselves as a “p
Life on the Bottom
I enjoyed a short-lived career on the bottom. My college boyfriend’s family lived in a duplex on Park Avenue, where we’d often slip away on weekends. Meals were rich and plentiful — foie gras, profiteroles, double magnums of Riesling, etc. — all of which I eagerly imbibed. Following one such decadent feast my freshman year, when we were still very much in the honeymoon phase of our first gay affair , Dan and I retired to his bedroom and got to work. For weeks we’d been easing into penetration with me on the bottom, but the pain had proven prohibitive. Also at compete was acute paranoia of involuntary defecation, something I’d been assured was a common, yet unwarranted, affect of bottoms.
Presumably though, most surveyed hadn’t recently gorged on three helpings of fattened goose liver. It’s complicated to look someone in the eye after shitting their childhood bed — let alone date them for seven more years afterward — but that’s exactly what happened. What didn’t happen — and hasn’t since, really — was me back on the bottom.
• Read next: Bottoming Emojis, Explained
Maybe that’s why I’ve maintained an enviable respect for men and women who regularly obtain fucke
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Here are some fast tips and tricks from ACON’s Peer Education team that will get you topping those bottoms appreciate a pro in no time.
1. Foreplay before play
When topping for the first time it can be intimidating so we suggest building a lot of trust with your spouse by exploring each other’s bodies through foreplay before starting insertive sex.
2. Chat the talk
Communication is incredibly important when you are topping, particularly if it’s for the first moment. Get comfortable checking in with your partner and asking them how they liked to be fucked. (do they need foreplay? Do they need to be fingered?) Equally, if you know there is something that your spouse does that makes you rock hard then question for it!
While you are talking about what gets you and your partner’s engines going, why don’t you include what sort of HIV prevention methods you want to be using? Slip in that you are using PrEP or an undetectable viral load – or maybe that you are looking to use condoms. Whatever it is you settle to use,
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