Gay middle aged man
Gay Men in Mid-Life: Now What?
You bought the condo. You got the position. You might even possess the boyfriend. You came out. You made friends. You saved for retirement.
You took the trip. You ate the food. You posted the photos.
And yet, you wonder: Is this all there is?
For many of us, these are the experiences of lgbtq+ men at midlife.
We expend the first half of our lives doing and striving. And when most of the goals are met, we feel defeated and disappointed.
Everyone talks about getting, but no one talks about what happens after you get it. It doesn’t seem right to complain about having a lot.
If we dash away from this discomfort we may end up with too many hangovers, too much time on the internet, or too many disappointing hook ups.
Things get interesting if we stay curious about this uncomfortable experience of “blah”. Underneath the boredom or light depression is a rich world of feelings and a new vision waiting to be discovered.
For most men, the first half of life is about building a being and building the society. The external takes most of our energy and commitment.
In the second half of life, men often start to pay more attention to the internal realm to figure out what i
What No One Tells You About Being A Middle-Aged Gay
Embracing aging as a gay man can be an overwhelming and liberating experience…
By Jumol Royes
Gay society is youth obsessed. That’s not breaking news.
Yet not even the gay glitterati have figured out how to stop the living clock and put a halt to the aging process.
I turned 40 recently and was forced to reckon with the excellent expectations this birthday is burdened with. After remembering that birthdays are simply temporal markers that we use to remind ourselves, and each other, that we’re still here taking up space, I got to thinking about all the things no one tells you about becoming a middle-aged gay man.
For starters, you don’t accept an email or handset notification reminding you to change your Grindr tags and tribes from twink, twunk or cub to bear, daddy or zaddy, for those of you with a little extra swagger in your step.
Planning to meet up for drinks with a guy from the dating app? Be prepared to possibly spend more money than you accounted for when you discover that you’re not only responsible to pay for your retain drinks, but to cover the tab of the hottie you’re hoping to hook up wit
I finally came out as gay at 55 years old after 2 marriages with women. Telling my children was surprisingly easy.
I'm a middle-aged man who has been married twice and widowed. I'm also a father to two grown children. And I'm gay.
My sexuality was a burden I carried for so long, and hiding it became part of my core identity, weighing me down. But I finally had the courage to come out at 55. Honestly, I sometimes wish I hadn't waited so long.
Growing up in the '80s was not a safe environment for a queer kid, so I chose to mask my true self
Growing up in the '80s in Las Vegas, I was in a different, complicated time. I knew as early as 12 or 13 that I was different, but in those days, I had no frame of reference for what it meant to be gay. Blatant homophobia and pressure to fit in left me thinking I was some sort of freak. I avoided getting close to anyone and buried my covert, in favor of a more "normal" experience.
I eventually met and married a wonderful woman who knew my secret, and we started a family together. When cancer stole her a few years later, I was left with two young children to raise. During that prolonged journey of grief and single parenthood, I had a few m
Q: I am a gay man in my late 50s and possess never been in a relationship. I am so lonely, and the painful emptiness I feel is becoming absolutely unbearable. In my early 20s, I hooked up off and on, but it never developed into anything. I have always told myself that’s OK; I’m not a people person or a relationship kind of guy. I have a few lesbian friends but no male friends. I have social anxiety and can’t go to bars or clubs. When affair apps were introduced, I used them infrequently. Now I go totally unnoticed or am quickly ghosted once I reveal my age. Most nonwork days, my only interactions are with people in the service industry. I am well groomed, employed, a homeowner, and always kind to people. I leave to a therapist and take antidepressants. However, this painful loneliness, depression, aging, and feeling unnoticed sound to be getting the best of me. I cry often and would really like it all to end. Any advice? —Lonely Aging Gay
A: “In the very compact term, LAG needs to tell his therapist about the suicidal ideation,” said Michael Hobbes. “In the longer term, well, that’s going to take a bit more to unpack.”
Hobbes is a
.